idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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