Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
