i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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