She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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