Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
