Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
