i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
