yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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