I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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