Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
