no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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