the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
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just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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