Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
either way he was missing a nipple.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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