I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
