I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
