he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
