I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
