Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
