Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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