On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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