I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
