he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize