and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
