I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Come share oat with me in your robe
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize