I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
