i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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