It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
