my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.