i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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