either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
