all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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