Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
