ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
