Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
