i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize