Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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