and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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