I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
