Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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