I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
