i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
