I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
