Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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