she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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