Whod you bang
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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