So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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