...so i touched it.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
