he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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