Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
