Is it normal to miss your booty call?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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