So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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