Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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