We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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