For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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