Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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