i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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