I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
