i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
