You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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